I recently went through a roller coaster season of extreme highs and the lowest of the blows. Roller coaster seasons are emotionally draining because there are so many switch ups and shake ups that you’re trying to take in during a short period of time. It’s in those unpredictable seasons that we must strengthen our faith ever more in God in trusting that he has us covered all the way in alignment of our paths or placed within a specific assignment for his divine plan for our lives.
“I Thought We Were Cool ?”
It could be just me, but as I age I find that it’s actually harder in establishing and maintaining friendships. I noticed towards the turn of the year that God began to reveal more about some of the friendships that were in my life. There were some switch ups and shake ups within my interpersonal relationships. There was one particular friendship that in truth I thought was going to be a lasting friendship that I saw sadly run its course. I truly thought that we were “cool” in my 90’s flashback slang in interpretation. My girlfriend and I spoke several times a day, shared family outings, were very transparent with one another, and our children enjoyed each other’s company. It seemed when I transitioned from being a stay at home mom to working full time our friendship took a major nose dive. I respected her in not dominating our conversations about my job, but I noticed she started to make more emphasis on her responsibilities at home. It’s was weird that although I was balancing work and home life as a mother that my friend made it known on our now ” rare” conversations on how “busy” she was to connect. I saw that if I didn’t reach out she didn’t make any effort. She begin to say subtle things of discontent, show a disconnection between us, and she was obviously distancing herself from me. It was a total switch up that hurt me deep because naively I placed the friendship on a pedestal in not being so easily broken. I harbor no ill feelings towards my friend, and I respect sadly the transition. I saw that God covered me in a season of being alone in trusting more in him and I learned how to trust without fear being alone in not depending on anyone but God for emotional support. God assured me that I wasn’t alone in providing an embrace of his comforting words. God also organically strengthened many of my long term friendship following the end of that season with my once close friend, and I experienced the beauty of some new friendships growing stronger.
You’re Gifts Will Make Room For You
I begin working in performance arts with youth when I was only 15 years old as a teen volunteering around the city. I later in college was hired at a nonprofit to do so professionally through an afterschool program. I throughly enjoyed teaching dance, music, art, theater, and coordinating programs for the youth to display their talents. Inspiring youth in bringing out their best was truly away in paying it forward with the hopes of them sowing the seed to do it in another way. I noticed that in whatever job capacity I found myself back with youth working within fine arts. The pay in working via contract wasn’t the much, but I was always happy being with the kids. The last five years were harder for me within working within my passion of fine arts. I found myself burnout, discouraged, used, and feeling defeated especially after a conversation with someone who shared that I would never have a rewarding career in doing what I do. It was a low blow for sure in being mid 30’s, and hearing that you were on a nowhere path. My husband was offered a promotion in a different area than where we currently resided, and I took that abrupt switch up as a sign to begin a career change. It was two days following the closure of my resignation that I was offered a position to work within the Fine Arts department for our local school board as a middle school visual arts teacher. It was the shake up I needed from God to trust in his plan, to know that our gifts are not our own, and to know that through God’s divine covering that your gifts will make room for you for the betterment of his kingdom. I’m grateful to be able to have a stable career in doing what I love and what I’m passionate about in serving young people.
A Protective Shield
I was driving on a wet and slippery day on the expressway leaving work to pick some paperwork. A driver blindly from some type of distraction merged in my lane hitting my van, and it swerved to the far right lane on the slick road. I held the steering wheel for dear life, and as my car flipped over my life flashed before my eyes that this was bad. The driver did a hit and run never looking back. My van somehow landed upright near some bushes on the side of the road. Thankfully, there were some kind drivers who saw what had happened, who called the police, and they stayed by my side until the ambulance arrived. I was blessed to be conscious the whole time, and I was able to walk out of the vehicle. I was covered by God’s protective shield to have superficial lacerations. The doctors at the hospital shared with me that this was a very serious accident that could’ve taken a different turn. I won’t lie that the car accident didn’t shake me up. It made me look at life, relationships, and so many things differently. I’m still mentally and physically adjusting to it all. I am equally grateful that my children were not in the van because I know that would’ve been disastrous for them. God’s shield of protection covered them in their absence, and covered me within the storm. I’m happy to say that I am in recovery, and grateful that we have a new vehicle with air conditioning! Hey, we went for two years without air conditioning in our old faithful van.
Know that despite switch ups or shake ups that God has you covered. Our heavenly father watches out for his children as a guiding light, comforting friend, deliver, and healer for those who believe and trust in his word.
So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. Isaiah 41: 10