Journeys In Motherhood, Marriage and Family, Mom Motivation & Empowerment, Spiritual Growth and Understanding

How Can You Get Mad At Your Own Mess?

My daughters and I headed out the door to jump in the car to leave for the gym. One of my seven year old twins said ” Eww, the car is a mess! ” as she opened to door to get in the backseat to strap in her car seat. I took a peep to see what was all the fuss. It turns out it was actually the mess that she left on a previous trip a day earlier in sneaking cheese crackers, a pack of fruit snacks, and a leftover juice bottle. She said her little sassy comment looking at me as if it was my responsibility to fix her backseat party gone wrong! I reminded her as she sat with her arms folded that in her disobedience she created a mess, and I advised her to take ownership in cleaning up the mess she created. She pouted like, ” Mama you busted me out” in cleaning up after herself in being more careful in her speech. There are times we as adult believers in Christ can act like pouting children who act oblivious of their mistakes in not taking full ownership for our actions creating mess in trails everywhere we go.

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
    but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28 :13

Who Started It?

I humor myself when my kids point fingers in playing the blame game when it’s obvious that there was more than one party involved when each took part in making a bad decision. They are literally caught red handed , but choose to throw another sibling under the bus. I’ve been a teacher for years now, and I notice that regardless of what grade level I teach when a student gets caught doing something wrong they usually point the finger in blaming someone else. Where did humans learn to be manipulative in placing game, mastering the victim card, and perfecting the art of deflecting? I always go back to the first original sin in the bible with Adam and Eve in the Old Testament in the book of Genesis 3 1-19. Both Adam and Eve were living in a beautiful paradise able to enjoy their lives, eat plentiful, and roam as they pleased. They were permitted however to not eat from the forbidden tree. Eve decided to take the word of a serpent over God to eat fruit from the forbidden tree, and Adam to be disobedient to God by eating the fruit from Eve. God knew what they did wrong, but instead of taking full ownership with accountability they start pointing fingers. Thus they both were punished, banished from the Garden of Eden, and man has been suffering ever since. We learn to take ownership in growing in spiritual maturity by admitting our mistakes, showing true repentance, and submitting to God’s plan for our lives.

Hot Tea/ True Stories

I will admit that I have sinned in falling short in having to pick up my face off the floor in shame in taking full ownership for bad decisions made in learning from those mistakes in working consciously not to repeat those same choices. I also had the frustrating disappointment in having others hurt me in the past in not taking full accountability for the pain, confusion, and mess they caused acting brand new with deflection. It hurt deep when my husband left, but I wrote a letter that I later read out loud to him a few weeks afterwards in taking ownership on my part of any resentment he may have harbored to make him make his decision. I didn’t do it to clear my conscious, and I didn’t do it to beg him to stay if he wanted to go. I did it because I know when a marriage fails two people are to blame, both should take full ownership for their errors, ask for forgiveness, and to allow that to be a catalyst to continue growing in Christ in being guided through the healing process. I can say I was a good wife, but I wasn’t a perfect wife in taking ownership for mistakes from my failed marriage. I lost a good friend who had an immature spazz out in saying some mean things over insecurities. She never fully took ownership of her action with the cruel words she said, the basis of the foundation of their roots, and even after a heart to heart she still managed to act with pettiness at times. I decided it will be healthier to release the friendship in wishing her the best. I had a former co-worker who decided I would be a target of her wrath to climb to her way to the top in doing many vicious things that she was later called out on despite my silence from our supervisors in picking up on her sabotaging ways. She decided despite the time stamp of her antics from jealousy to deflect the blame, cause division within the organization with creating sides to choose from with fellow coworkers, gossip, and even after I reached out so we could just squash the beef in an attempt to make peace so we could work together continue with her ways. I was later blessed unexpectedly with another position to leave that hostile work environment. Thankfully , God always open doors.

A huge step in sincerely growing in maturity spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually is learning to take full ownership. God knows our truths just like he did with Adam and Eve, so we don’t have nothing to hide in repentance of our sins. There is nothing that separates us from Christ’s love, grace, and mercy. We don’t have to wallow in defeat from bad decisions, but we can take full ownership in making the decision to do better. When we have sinned we can still come to God who has loving welcoming arms for us. When we have sinned against a fellow brother or sister we are to come open, honest, and with a real apology. When we make a mess like my seven year old did in the backseat of the car we need to take ownership in cleaning it up!

1 thought on “How Can You Get Mad At Your Own Mess?”

  1. Agreed, taking ownership is a must! We need to realise that all of our actions have consequences and be at peace with dealing with the aftermath. Your seven year old is cute though 🙂

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