Learning How To Be Good To Yourself

How good are you to yourself? Is taking care of yourself selfish? Sometimes as women and moms we can feel a little guilty when putting our needs first before others in feeling like it’s a self-absorbed act. I’m slowly recognizing how equally important it is to devote care to being good to myself as it is to freely invest in the care for others. It’s not selfish, self-centered, and or self absorbed in learning how to be good to yourself. It’s a delicate balance in learning how to be good to yourself while also being good to others.

Here are a few ways that you can be “good” to yourself in leaving guilt behind in adopting self-care and wellness:

Speak Life Over Yourself: Stop negative self talk in putting yourself down. I know how it feels to struggle with self acceptance. Knock out every negative thought about yourself in recognizing at least five positive traits about yourself. Write a journal in reflection of positive goals, accomplishments, failures ( yeah Sis, we have them), and something good to say about yourself on your darkest days. Life and motherhood can knock you down sometimes, and it’s up to us to not stay down in recognizing our value through Christ. You rock Sis! Get over the stretch marks, numbers of the scale, the dirty mini van, and other perceived flaw.

Take Care Of Your Health: It’s imperative that we take care of our physical health in not taking it for granted. I found myself rarely missing my children’s doctor’s or dentist’s appointments in making them a priority. I oftentimes would forget my annual checkups or I would constantly reschedule them out of not wanting any push back in taking time off of work to meet their scheduling requirements. I made a promise to myself at the turn of the year to follow up and follow through in due diligence all my annual checkups. I gained a lot of insight on my health in being mid 30’s, health risk due to family medical history, and discovered I lost 12 pounds at my last checkup.

Get Your Body Moving : There’s so many benefits beyond the aesthetics when it comes down to getting your body moving with physical activity. Being physically active is good for relieving stress, heart health, growing in endurance in building your body’s core, and it can boost your mood. I enjoy being outdoors in taking advantage of a beautiful scenic hike or trail.

Save for the Future: I’m learning more about finance as I grow older, and I don’t want my children to experience some of the things I went through in my childhood in seeing my mom under so much financial stress. I’ve had to budget more as a single parent in learning how to make wiser decisions about my finances as a provider along with wanting to create security for my children in savings, making wise investments, and staying up with insurance.

Stand By Your No ! : I think you grow more assertive with age in speaking up and standing your grounds. I was a major people pleaser. My eagerness to appease created an energy that attracted unwanted requests and my anxiety was on fleek from trying to accomplish unrealistic expectations in over extending myself. No is not only a word, but it’s a complete sentence. Sticking to your ” No” can be a challenge at first for some, but later it will can you peace, courage, and self-respect. It’s healthy and beneficial to set clear boundaries.

Keep Good Company: One major key in being good to yourself is surrounding yourself with good company. I enjoy being around people who speak positive, bring welcoming energy, insight, wisdom, open mindedness, trustworthy, fun loving, and give me good vibes. I enjoying being around people who in their flaws and all live by their truth in being themselves giving me the opportunity to be nothing less the same. We’ll meet life givers and life drainers as we go through life, and I’ve never regretted being in good company.

Release What Doesn’t Serve You : It was extremely hard for me to release somethings off my plate, some habitually bad habits I formed, and even some connections. I learned that in being good to yourself it was essential to let go. It didn’t make me a “bad person” in being realistic with my schedule as a working mom in dropping activities that took more time away from me being productive at work or sharing quality time with my kids. I had to pratice what I preached to my children in taking ownership for habits that didn’t serve my growth or my family. It didn’t make me a flake or a snake in removing myself from relationships or connections that were unhealthy, unreliable,unreciprocal, and that ran their course. It was also good in healing from a bruise ego and insecurity in releasing what what released me.

Rest When Needed: If they created a new Energizer Bunny my face would be on it. However, even as a Busy Bee I know how to rest when need be without feeling the pressure of being “unproductive ” by society’s standards on motherhood and success. I found myself going and going. I was very prone to burnout with the demands at home, work load, social demands, and projects. I learned that it was my responsibility to create balance with home and work. I know my social limits as an ambivert, and I choose connections that respect them. I space out projects both personally and professionally. I also don’t turn down an opportunity for a sleep in Saturday or a brief cat nap!