I could feel my throat getting tight as I held the mic. My heart was pumping out of my chest. It’s wasn’t just the fact that I had on some stiletto heels that had my knees shaking, but it was the fear of what if I messed this up. I love music, and I’ve been trained in choir from grade school through college, and I have sung in church choir since a little girl with pigtails. I have taught music confidently and energetically to youth for years. However, when it’s my time to lead a song it’s like for a brief moment I’m that little shy girl frozen in stage fright.
Girl, You Got This!
I was asked to lead a song at church by the gospel group Pure N Heart entitled ” We Are Different” unbeknownst to my fellow co-director of the children’s choir just knowing that I would stand in front of our church had my anxiety at an overall peak. I could feel midway through the 1st verse my voice feeling shaky, but later when we hit the bridge of ” We are not ashamed of the gospel,” I could feel a confidence inside building up. It wasn’t by my own strength that my confidence begin to rise, but it was like I could hear the voice of God saying ” Girl you go this! Oh, by the way stop being so dramatic!” We completed the song, and later I was back in my comfort zone of directing. There were some kind church members that came to me following service that shared they enjoyed the song, and I did a good job singing. I reflected back on that short moment of fear in learning the importance of trusting God, and how it’s important to grow in God giving confidence.
Not By Our Strength
I’ve been pretty open in the past year or so through my blog of my daily fight of conquering living with anxiety in the pursuit of my purpose. It’s a conscious internal battle of breaking out of fear to be transparent, shaking off the doubt of letting your insecurities take over your vision of how you see yourself, not being afraid of failure, and not questioning your worth when rejection reels its ugly head. God giving confidence isn’t growing in faith within yourself, but it’s about pushing self aside. It’s having the faith to trust in God. It’s knowing that you can do some good things within your own efforts, but there is so much greater in you that Christ sees for your life for which he’s going to provide you with the strength to be more than a conqueror in overcoming. I can get through somethings within my strength, but the bible states ” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Philippians 4: 13
Trusting God Through The Process
I know that the road will not be easy. There maybe some daughting tasks, obstacles, and challenges a head in life, but seeing how far God has brought not only me, but my family my confidence in God to get me through the process of each circumstance grows more through prayer and reflection. Rejection can be hard for adults just as well as children, but I’ve learned to never question my worth or purpose through the eyes or my relationships with others. There will be times that we will be stretched beyond our comfort zones, but through it all trust in God that he will bring your through it all unscathed.Growing in God giving confidence will not only boost your personal confidence within yourself, more than ever it will increase your faith, trust, and belief that through Christ you can all things!
Purpose Filled Mommy with Minimarie 