There comes a point when how you truly feel in the inside starts affecting those around you on the outside. Those who are the closest to you feel it the most when you’re at your best or at your worst especially your family. I saw myself at a very unhappy, unsettling, and low point at a period in my life. Yes, I was going through the motions , gestures, and celebrations as if everything was okay. It wasn’t long before I saw those emotions spilling into other areas. I made the decision to not make any excuses, and I wasn’t going to play the blame game either. If you want better you strive to do better. I wanted my husband and my kids to have the best version of me in a continuing journey of growing together in love.I made several changes in my life that made me a happier person and a happier mom.
The following steps have helped me in my continuing journey in discovering happiness inside which reflected positively within our home.
- Make the decision to embrace joy. I knew that it was up to me to search within to discover happiness.
- Adopted a moment of peaceful reflection, prayer, and a moment of stillness. I do so every morning, I take one day to just rest, and I have a few quiet places that I visit for reflection.
- Set up a list of priorities. It’s simple for me God, family (husband and kids), and all else comes afterwards. Get organized and set up a schedule .
- Adopt wholeheartedly an attitude of gratitude. I appreciate what we have, and the kindest gestures giving to me by husband and my children.
- Stop people pleasing. It will burn you out in time,drain you, and it make you super frustrated.
- Let go of the past! I let go of the guilt of past mistakes, offenses, and I opened my heart to forgiveness.
- Give grace . I stop beating myself up and offered myself grace which in turn helped me extend grace to others.
- Tap into your creative genius . I paused doing a lot of things that I enjoyed and I’m good at. I reintroduced myself to the things I love like the arts, dance, creative writing, and walking in my purpose as an empowerment speaker .
- Invest in Yourself! It’s great to give back to others in support, but I learned it was equally if not more important for me to support myself in developing myself, gifts, and passions.
- Stop spreading yourself thin. I learned I can’t be apart or participate in everything. Your family comes first, and they deserve quality time while you are at your best.
- Learn to say “No”, and stop overextending yourself. I said “No”, and nothing bad happened. My kids still loved me, the right friendship lasted, and I learned that you gain more respect in setting boundaries.
- Incorporate fitness and movement. It can be a pretty good workout managing a home, chasing after children, and doing housework. However, working out put me in a happier mood, and I had more energy.
- Cultivate a healthy inner circle or close friends and supporters. I learned the importance, benefits, and necessity in cultivating a healthy inner circle. I distanced or removed toxic personalities from my life.
- Ask for help. We all have vulnerabilities , and there will be a time that we will need a helping hand. I learned that I could still be be strong, independent, and sufficient, but I could still reach out for help if needed without feeling ashamed .
- Stop being a fixer and problem solver. I learned that although you may want to help everyone and you don’t like seeing distress in a situation or in others you have to use wisdom in your efforts. Many problems are bigger than you to solve, and you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
- Co–parent in peace. It was a waist of energy and I was approaching the danger zone in becoming a martyr. My past with my ex wasn’t the happiest time in my life, and our son was struggling. I wasn’t in this alone. Our son needed both parents. It was time to put the past and personal issues aside to help our son. He could feel the unity, and his behavior and efforts begin to change .
- Conserve your energy, resources, and budget for savings. It will benefit you and your family the most in the long run.
- Be authentic. Be in tune with yourself. Love yourself, and always be true to yourself. Being your genuine self is always right for the right people. It also gives your children the courage to be true to themselves. You learn to love , accept , and grow together in your own unique way and as a family.