There’s an indescribable assembly of accord when women are able to genuinely connect for the greater good in support amongst one another. There are unfortunately many women who have never found the safety in women friendships along with other female relationships in experiencing heartache, or what could be best described as disappointment in choosing to keep their distance in not wanting to entertain many women in company. There’s a tremendous empowerment amidst women that occurs within our spirits, our families, and in our communities when we come together in a united bond of solidarity that the enemy is against in being sure that he acts within our own inner demons in keeping us apart.
The Fewer the Better
It’s common chatter that many women from experience directly or indirectly think that the less woman we have in our lives that it’s protection from being involved in much drama. This mentality is not always true along with being sexist with the belief that only women cause and stir up drama for which I can attest that is far from true in having gender biasness in knowing that it’s more about a person’s character. Women were divinely created by God in being sensitive, emotional, and endearing which propels our nurturing instinct. I have heard in casual conversation ironically by other women that it’s best to have the least number of female friends for protection. The truth is we are to be wise in discernment about EVERY relationship in our lives not just our relationships with women. I get it, many us have been burned once or twice in some scenario by someone we would dare not call a “sister” in womanhood. I am a witness in being deeply hurt myself in experiencing some situations among female companionship, but not all women are out to get us in some catty form of an attack. I have some amazing women who have had my back along in being ride or die in my life. One great example in the bible of women sisterhood that we can study is that of Ruth and Naomi.
Ruth 6: 16- 17 But Ruth replied: Do not persuade me to leave you or go back and not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May Yahweh punish me, and do so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.
Many us are very guarded in woman company in the prevention of connecting with other women because of the following:
- We’ve experienced the brutality of the “Mean Girls’ Club” in our youth or in adulthood. These are groups of women who act out viciously towards other women targets they view as personal enemies in selfish vendettas. Studies suggest that women who participate in mean girl behavior begin in early adolescent age in forming false connections of a group in a united front in acting out of personal insecurities.
- We’ve been betrayed by other women. Betrayal is when we have been exposed or endangered within our vulnerabilities physically, emotionally, or any other form of a harmful offense that we were caught off guard in a breach of trust.
- We’ve had many unhealthy, unbalanced, and toxic friendships : A slew of unhealthy friendships or even one bad friendship can make us more skeptical of building friendship with women.
- We didn’t have examples of positive female relationships growing up as children with significant women figures and role models. There maybe some of us who’ve experienced toxic female role models growing up with mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sibling, and other close female influences. If you grew up in observing unhealthy examples of connections among women in your life laced in control, manipulation, jealously, or deception it would negatively impact the way you view relationships between women.
It Starts with You
I have honestly experienced all the things mentioned above which impacted me in feeling unsafe amongst women in my past that thankfully I no longer carry. I am also a mother of three daughters that watch their pure connection in being protective of one another fiercely in love which is an honor to watch. As mothers we are the matriarchs of our families with the power of raising generations that we have to intentionally train up our daughters to look after one another, nip jealousy in the bud in the early stages, and teach them about what true sisterhood is beyond bloodlines, so that our daughters can be in that role for others. We may encounter in various seasons of our lives some women who didn’t honor our companion in friendship, yet there will be many other women who will respect us and our friendship in looking for the same for themselves in providing us good godly friendships in well-being. The revolving door of friendships or lack thereof from those of us who didn’t have the most positive examples of relationships among women growing up doesn’t have to be the same for our lives. The truth is there will be changing seasons with people entering or leaving our lives no matter what, but there will be some gracious women who will weather with us in every season for years to come. I learned as I grew in my relationship with Christ first as foundation that it also solidified me in attracting godly women in my life through various relationships in protection, care, confidentiality, support, and an earnest sisterhood
Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (NIV)