Spiritual Growth and Understanding

Putting Pride Aside: Make It Right In Taking Ownership

It’s not a week as a parent and as a teacher that I don’t witness a disagreement between children. It humors me that even if the conflict comes to emotional tears or unfortunate blows that our youth can occasionally beat us to the punch in choosing peace over pride with apologizing in moving on. We have to sometimes push our pride to the side in thinking of the overall picture in acting in wisdom, and we must allow our faith as believers to be the catalyst forefront with our actions to take ownership when we’ve done anything that put a strain on our relationships with others.

Ephesians 2:8

For by grace you have been saved through faith, And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Why Can’t We Just Apologize?

  • Pride
  • Ego
  • Stubbornness
  • Embrassment
  • Need to Be In Control
  • Social Pressure

It’s kinda of funny that little children can have a drag out fight on the playground and be friends playing like nothing ever happened. We as adults can stop talking to friends or family members for the most trivial disagreements or misunderstanding for years later forgetting what we were actually mad at in the first place. A half passive aggressive apology in which we blame the other party for our actions in pointing the fingers as ” See what you made me do” in manipulating our words in not taking full ownership on our part may cause more harm in damaging a relationship with others.

Examples

  • ” I am sorry if you were offended by …….
  • “I know I did __________, but you did” ______ which made me act the way I did.
  • “I AM SORRY ! FINE, Are you happy now?”
  • “I was just__________ you know.”
  • “I will apologize if…….”
  • “____________ told me to come to you and apologize, so here I am.”
  • “I am going to be the bigger person and come to you”

I think the worst personally for me, is when someone has obviously offended someone or acted hurtful, yet they later decide to opt out of an apology with just ignoring the issue at hand thinking that they can easily gloss back into someone’s life.

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Bigger Than Being Right

We live in a cancel culture that is quick to cut others off in being dismissive that has leaped into how we how handle our interpersonal personal relationships. There are so many worldly influences in memes, false messagers, and pop culture references that insist that we cut everyone off in not wasting energy to nurture our relationships during conflicts. I too was guilty of the cut off spirit in not knowing how to effectively handle conflicts before growing in my relationship with Christ, but I tend now to delicately reevaluate a connection before I make a decision to create distance from someone after several offensives have happened that resulted in it being more detrimental in maintaining a relationship with it being unhealthy. Most of us have had a moment were we acted heavily from emotion, pass hurts, biasedness, and hang ups that created a conflict that nudges at our spirit deep down to know that we have to take ownership in apologizing. I’ve completely had to put my tail between my legs in reaching out in acknowledging what I did was wrong in some very embarrassing moments that I’m not so proud of to apologize for to someone in choosing peace over pride. It’s easier to admit that we were wronged than admitting that WE ARE WRONG. Thankfully, though in referencing Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me” that can also be applied in putting our pride to the side and admitting our faults and making peace with others and doing our best to create harmony rather than drama and conflict in our lives. If there is someone that deep down you really care about or a relationship that will need to be at best cordial with for a bigger picture, I would like to encourage you to pray and ask for guidance on how to reach out to this particular person in making it right in offering a sincere apology for your part.

Acts 17: 30

The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent.

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