Mom Talks : The Balance of Compassion, Protection, and Wisdom

In our roles as mothers, we have all encountered situations where we feel compelled to share our experiences and receive guidance. There are times when we need to vent about our parenting struggles. Furthermore, there are instances when we require reassurance and emotional support in the midst of motherhood’s daily challenges. Engaging in candid conversations with a close friend who is also navigating the complexities of parenting can be a highly rejuvenating experience. These conversations, marked by openness and reciprocal listening, are highly valued and deserving of compassion, discretion, and wisdom.

Unfiltered & Bothered

Motherhood can be ridiculously tough, with a gazillion behind-the-scenes struggles. As moms, we’re like circus performers trying to balance our personal and family lives while juggling complex relationships and societal pressures. I’ve learned that not every friend is a BFF, and only a select few can handle the crazy vulnerabilities of motherhood in building friendships. Genuine friendships should respect each party’s boundaries, but let’s face it, some friends might be weirded out by certain aspects of our lives. As my mom would say, ‘You can’t spill all the tea to everyone.’

Wise Convo Take Away

1. Be honest with your conversation dialogue as friends to ensure you’re not always venting, complaining, gossiping, or emotional dumping. The best of friends have their limits, and unless they’re a professional therapist they can only handle so much of our woes themselves.

2. We have every right to protect our energy by setting boundaries with others, but our  dialogue with friends can’t be treated in convenience in temperament, interest, or always controlled in flow.

Hot Tea

You’ve just gotten the scoop on some super sensitive information from a friend who’s like the queen bee among your mutual pals. Would you spill the tea about someone who seems to have it all together with another friend, just because you’ve gained insight to pass judgement? As someone who values transparency in your marriage, would you dish all the details about your friends’ personal lives to your hubby and then share his thoughts with them? Absolutely not. Confidentiality is sacred in trusted friendships, especially when moms are having real talk. The trust and integrity that come with being a good listener shouldn’t be thrown out the window for a quick gossip fix. Just because the “tea” is hot , you don’t have to pour it which can cause an even bigger mess.

Wise Convo Take Away

1. Can the friend I’m sharing with keep my disclosures confidential in learning her conversation track record among others?
2. How would I feel if I learned that someone shared something personal that I shared in confidence among their spouse, mutual friends, and family?

Seeking & Giving Advice

Receiving advice from a friend who genuinely cares about our concerns is comforting. Having a friend who provides trustworthy, godly advice is a valuable asset. It’s equally an honor when a fellow mom seeks advice and shares her concerns openly. A balanced mommy friendship involves mutual support and exchange. However, it’s crucial to avoid co-dependency by not bombarding a friend with excessive questions, as if they were a readily available information resource. When offering advice, ensure it’s requested and respectful of boundaries. Take the time to understand a friend’s personality, character, and knowledge to provide wise counsel.

Wise Counsel Take Away

1. Can this friend provide me with wise godly counsel for my situation ?
2. Is my friend asking for my advice for her situation or does she just need a listening ear?

 

As a mother, I’ve had uplifting conversations with fellow moms, but also experienced strained friendships due to thoughtless comments. I’m grateful for supportive discussions, but emphasize the importance of intentional conversations, creating a safe space for mothers to find support.