Grace In Grievances : Wisdom In Handling Conflicts

  There are moments where my children have disagreements with their fellow siblings, leaving one a bit more upset. Yet, this is where love and compassion can step in, allowing the other sibling to address the issue and make amends, restoring their playful norm. While most people shy away from friction, we can learn valuable lessons from God’s word on how to address conflict with love and empathy, building bridges instead of burning them. As believers in Christ, we can learn to approach grievances with love and understanding, creating a ripple effect of kindness and compassion.

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3 :13

The Elephant In The Room

  There are two counterproductive approaches that many of us adopt when addressing grievances, which I had to learn to overcome in order to grow and not fear conflict. We sometimes believe that if we ignore minor annoyances, they will resolve themselves, or that the other party will intuitively understand that their behavior has offended us. Alternatively, we fear that speaking up will exacerbate the situation and make things worse. However, failing to address a legitimate grievance has a significant drawback: it never truly disappears and instead festers, creating an environment conducive to resentment that can have toxic consequences. The second counterproductive approach to handling grievances is to react impulsively, without careful consideration of our words or actions, thereby escalating the situation and transforming a minor issue into a major concern, with us being responsible for the escalation.

¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
 if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12 18-21

When All Else Fails

I often help my kids handle grievances and find peace by sharing wisdom from my own experiences. I think about the times I mishandled a grievance, and the times others have mishandled me in a grievance in missing an opportunity that could’ve ended better or been resolved. Holding on to a grudge slowly eats away at your spirit. Also, not addressing a valid grievance makes things worse over time.I’ve learned that addressing conflicts with grace is essential, just as Christ gives us grace daily. When all else fails,  choose grace, study God’s word, and lead with love, just as Christ has done to you with compassion.

Grace In Grievances With Dear Family & Friends