One of my dearest friends asked if it would be okay to get my girls for a visit to give me a little time to myself. I knew she had her own brood of four kiddos under the age of six herself, and I hesitated in not wanting to be a burden. We sat in my living room having a rare moment of quiet to talk while our little ones entertained themselves together. She expressed in all sincerity that she was there for me in anyway she could be of support. She stressed her willingness in wanting to be of any help she could in the lost of my Grandmother in knowing how close we were to one another. We’ve been friends since college sharing many life experiences together. She was right by side at my Grandmother’s Homegoing service as well as the birth of each of my children. I couldn’t have asked for such a devoted sister to be by side. The twins happily joined their “Ti Ti” as I shared some much needed one on one with my eldest daughter. I knew the girls would enjoy being with their “cousins” for a sleepover, and I knew they were in the care of safe hands.
It’s not a week that will go by without me chatting it with a sweet friend living in Savannah. Our lives maybe night and day from being parallel in similarities, but we connect never missing a beat. Our personalities are night and day as well, but there is a harmony with mutual respect of each friend’s individuality being accepted.
We met about 2 years ago when I interviewed her for my blog, yet we managed to establish a genuine friendship. I’m able to be transparent with her with who I am, what’s going on in my life, and be vulnerable without feeling judged. We may live 2 1/2 hours away, but our connection feels like she’s always near. We make sure to have a visit when were in each other’s cities. I appreciate having a friend to share life with who operates within the fruit of the spirit in being present, making an effort to actually engage beyond social media, and to give sound advice through wisdom.
Allowing Yourself To Feel Safe Amongst Women
It can be a sensitive subject for some women when it comes down to feeling safe amongst the company of other women. I can relate to feeling hesitant in wanting to connect through friendships with other women. I founded myself guarded occasionally following a few unpleasant experiences in putting myself out there in connecting to make new friends. However, when I look back over my life regarding female friendships the good far outweighed the not so pleasant experiences. I’ve been privileged to have God restore friendships that I thought were broken from an infraction, conflict, disagreement, or distance because of us all balancing motherhood with life brought back smoothly in never missing a beat. Just because you encounter the hurt from a lost friend, or you were unfortunate in having to deal with a toxic friendship in a season, don’t count all female friendships out. I’ve learned to take the good with the bad in learning lessons to grow into being a better friend myself in attracting the friendships I would like to establish and maintain in feeling safe among other women.Don’t Be Hard To Help
If you’re use to being the helper, strong friend, encourager, pick me up friend, or the giver in situations when a friend is going through a tough time it may be a challenge to be on the receiving end when the roles reverse. I’ve had many humbling moments in the past year in where I needed my sisters in my life more than ever in lifting my spirits.My three daughters unlike their mom were born in knowing how to take on their sister role naturally, but I navigated through friendships in developing a sisterhood. I don’t have any biological sisters, so I grew up internalizing everything to fix on my own. I learned how to quickly self soothe in coping through life. The truth is, we can’t predict the outcome if ever in need or reaching out. Humbling experiences strengthens our faith in God along with our character. Those moments also strengthens friendships. I learned to push my pride, ego, and shame aside if ever I feel the need to reach out to a love one for support. I also won’t alienate those in my life whose intentions are pure who want to show that they care for me in love, support, and concern.
Having a friendship that grows into a sisterhood has a phenomenal benefit of being reciprocal in being life giving with good vibes for all parties. There were times that I was the listening ear, and there were times where I had to be a listening ear for a friend. There were times I was the giver of support, and there were times I was the receiver of support. I am grateful for the women who’ve touched my life throughout the years who have shown me love in being there even when I was to afraid to ask. Sisterhood isn’t just a noun, but a verb of action of loving support in showing that each party is there and cares.
When a friend shows you that they care and wants to be there, allow them.