I have two children who are fiercely independent in being strong willed. My son and daughter duo have an age gap of eight years apart, yet they similarly take pride in saying, “I got it Mom” in most scenarios. There are times that it’s obvious that they both need a helping hand on separate occassions from my son needing his glasses wiped with a good old fashion Mama clean and his feisty little sister needing someone to tie her shoes when they’re loose. The truth is they are my biggest helpers here at home, yet they struggle in allowing others to be reciprocal in returning the same favor in love. I share with my son and daughter while ministering to myself in being able to relate to their actions in so many ways in accepting help. It’s amicable to be independent in holding things together, but there will be many humbling situations where we will need to call out to the Lord for help in not feeling the need to carry the load alone.
My help comes from the Lord, the Master of heaven and earth. Psalms 121: 2
I didn’t know how cautious I was with allowing others in to be a helping hand until a long time girlfriend called me out when I used Cash App to refund her for taking me out to dinner. She shared that her invite was from the bottom of her heart in wanting to do something nice for me as a friend . She refunded me the money with a frown emoji, and we later had a heart to heart in me sincerely apologizing for my action.There are many reasons why some of us shy away or why we’re very cautious in receiving help on any end of the spectrum.
I rounded up 10 reasons why many people including myself find it hard to open ourselves in receiving help.
- We’re perfectionists.
- We’re control freaks who like things our way case close!
- We grew up around or were some how surrounded by martyr type personalities who were going to make you know how much labor, effort, and thought they put into anything they did for us or anyone else for the ultimate guilt trip.
- Shhhhh, we’re closeted martyrs ourselves, and we don’t want anyone to react to us how we act towards others.
- We’re use to being the go to person who helps in assisting, caring for, and comforting others.
- We were hurt, shamed, or betrayed by someone close who later used what they did for us as petty leverage in some form of punishment.
- We know the drain of needy people who take advantage of others, and we dred being in that category.
- We had no other choice but to be independent in doing most if not all things on our own which is our comfortable safe zone.
- We have trust issues of self acceptance in allowing others to see the authenticity of all of who we are in fear of rejection or being judged.
- We haven’t released our whole trust in God in giving him the authority over our lives in still finding the need to control things ourselves.
Whew! Did I touch a nerve? If I didn’t for you, I surely had a reality check within myself with some of those things mentioned. The truth is, life will put you in situations where you will have to strengthen your faith in God in humbling circumstances where you will have to lay pride, ego, and trust issues from your past aside in relying on Jesus alone to pull you through. He can also work through others like our friends, loved ones, and even those who we may wouldn’t have ever guessed to be in our corner to help us in times of need allowing him the recieve the glory. He can use others to show that we’re not alone in showing he cares. He can be God all by himself in needing no one in allowing us to solely rely on calling out to him to release the weight of our heavy load. You learn alot about yourself and your support system when you’re hit with a major life shake up, transition, or the onset of a new beginning. We were created to build a relationship with the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit as well with one another. We aren’t weak, a failure, or a burden when we’re in need of help. Let’s humble ourselves in opening ourselves to God to show his love towards us in whatever he sees fit.