Valentine’s Day is a big commercial holiday centered on love. How could you miss the advertisements of sparkly jewelry, the beautiful flower bouquets placed extra close within the entrance of every grocery store, the chocolate boxes that need no extra boost of deliciousness that seem to be more appetizing, or the sea of red hearts reminding of us love? Oh, I forgot about the special dedications plastered on social media from those who are madly in love. Everyone isn’t forgotten that might have had a different kind of Valentine’s Day this year. I’m was reminded of a few special things this Valentine’s Day on love that I choose to reflect on no matter what day it is.
Where’s Your Sweetheart?
I’ve been in serious long term relationships since a junior in high school. I’ve had my “Boo Grams”of balloons since middle school from school crushes. I won’t go through a run down of old flames from back in the day, but when I added up the years of dating and marriage that was a huge part of my later formative years through adulthood. I thought I would be nonchalant about the upcoming Valentine’s Day, but there was something significant about this day of hearts more than any other. It will be my first Valentine’s Day in almost two decades that I won’t celebrate with a Valentine’s sweetheart as a couple. I can’t say that I’m sad, I’ can’t say that I’m mad, but it came to me in an awkward calm of acceptance. The added plus is that I’m still in my mid 30’s, and I have four beautiful children. I’ve had enough years in sharing myself in love in committed relationships that I choose to have one day of reflection for the day without resentment in heartbreak.
A Shift Of Focus
I chose this year to focus on gratitude in every area in my life which centered on love. I learned that if you focus on lost in any relationship capacity that you’ll forever feel an emptiness as if something is missing, but if you appreciate the loving relationships that you have you’ll never feel alone no matter what day it is. I thought about the blessing of having my mother who has health issues still here on earth that shows me love in talking to me every night for girl chats. I thought about my 90 year old grandmother who is still going strong who never leaves me without saying, ” You know I love you baby” in a sweet warm tone. I thought about the friendships that have maintained throughout the years never missing a beat, and I thought about the relationships that have grown into true friendships that lift my spirit. I also serve over hundred students a day at a busy middle school who never miss an opportunity in giving me a hug to share their love for me as a teacher. The relationships that I have through my family, friends, and students never made me feel like I had a void to fill.
A Mother’s Love
The love I share as a mother with my children and the love that my children share back is priceless beyond comparison. My love for them and their love for me since meeting one another out of the womb has never wavered, and I pray that our bond stays strong as they grow older. We’ve always shared as a family on Valentine’s Day going out to dinner together, exchanging small boxes of chocolates, and some form of quality time. Our family’s annual Valentine’s tradition may have some modifications due to our family’s dynamics, combining co-parenting, distance, but the most important thing is that each child feels loved by their parents. The plus for them is that their parents loaded them with miniature boxes of chocolates that they look forward to receiving each year in spite of the circumstance.
I discovered a little later in life a deeper understanding of God’s love for me. I truly didn’t understand God’s love for me to the fullest until I became a true believer in Jesus Christ in gratefulness for his salvation through his life as a sacrifice for my sins.The love of God is something that we can’t make in comparison of human understanding in ability to give despite the depth of the relationship even in motherhood. My earthly father passed when I was a teen, but my Heavenly Father lives loving me for an eternity.
I’m not bitter this Valentine’s Day. I am so happy for the couples who are in love, happily married, or who have decided to be engaged. I’m not trying to overly exert my relationship with my children as their mother in making it extraordinary due any recent shift. I don’t feel the need to overcompensate on any level of relationships of a grand scale due the fact that I’m having a different Valentine’s Day. I simply choose to count each day as a blessings even more, to do my best in acting in the love of God as best I can, focus on the enriching relationships I have, and to begin to love myself fiercely in understanding God’s love for me as his child.
Be blessed! Remember you are loved.