Motherhood can be a bit tricky when it comes down to building relationships due the the juggling act of our many responsibilities, family dynamics, our children’s personalities, and not to mention our own makeup in disposition. In truth, not every mom fits into the stock image of the motherhood girlfriend subgroups. We find ourselves identifying as the “odd moms out ” who’s quirkiness set us apart of the usual social groups when we don’t fit in with establishing what seems like the norm.
A Bit Eclectic
I can relate to being the “odd mom out” on more than one occasion. I’m very friendly, social for the most part, and most who know me would place me in being a “people” person with observing my interactions with others. However, I’ve never really fit in long term in the mom social groups or clicks. Don’t get me wrong I admire the moms who have a tribe of women they call friends for which they regularly connect with beyond playdates who have”like minded” similarities that most if not all of the group unite in adhering to.Trust, I am not the mom sitting in the corner twiddling with my thumbs either at the playground. I enjoy a good conversation in meeting other women. I enjoy sharing life with others, meeting new moms that are relatable, and experiencing treasured moments at times within group settings with other women. I however can share those moments without limitations in it being solidified in a mentality that we all have similar backgrounds, class, religions, hobbies, education, age, and etc to connect as mothers. I’ve grown to recognize, accept, and love the the electiveness within the diverse group of women I call my friends. I think as well in being a naturally creative person I appreciate diversity, openness, and being a free thinker.
Trial & Error
I think within all connections it’s a bit of trial and error when it comes down to selecting relationships and settings that work best for us. My mid 30’s vibe in how I view life in establishing meaningful relationships is much different than a few years back. My family and I homeschooled for three years. I founded a successful homeschooling co-op to meet other homeschooling families. The kids and I have fond memories of those times. Although we no longer homeschool I still have very close relationships with many from the group. I am still pro homeschool for families who choose that option, but I didn’t find myself interested in connecting with the die hard “homeschool or nothing ” mom groups that were strongly aurgumentive in being judgemental towards families who chose traditional education. I’m a blogger, empowerment speaker, and rising business owner, but surface connections established by the super ” empowerment” life coaching networking mom groups were not my thing. Those connections always felt kind of ingenuine where few were open to being real in sharing about life, motherhood, and daily struggles unless it was to purchase their book to know their story. My experience with the “super mom business hustlers” was superficial in only mattering of importance based on the number of social media followers I had, post” Likes”, excessive tags for their events, seeing the prominence of my social circle for their personal gain, and rating my response from viewing my page from engagements. I’m work very actively in many of the children auxiliaries at church, but I stay away from the “holier than thou “mom clicks in being open minded to others despite their flaws. I enjoy the beauty within motherhood, and I was a stay -at- home mom for four years. I’ve found that my outgoing personality in being apart of other ventures while being home was a turn off to some faithly devoted stay-at-home moms. I’ve grown through trial and error to establish a “gumbo” mix of friends to relate with, and they are lovingly accepting of me.
Owning All That Is You
I was a serious late bloomer when it came down to finding mom friends. Heck, my eldest was eight years old when I met a loving group of mothers to call friends from our former homeschooling group! I can say that in learning to love myself better, establishing boundaries, and being accepting at first to my own “quirks and perks” I grew to create my own lane while making lasting friendships on the way. My mom raised me to always be myself, and be true to being myself. My favorite quote that she says to this day is,” Every relationship and setting isn’t meant to work for everybody.” Those words remind me of the importance to rely on God forever connecting to him. Being the “odd mom” out is a mentality, and it’s not a set in stone marker of our identity. When we learn to walk in our own truth in authenticity we tend to attract those who mimic in reflection. My friends along with their backgrounds are as diverse as the colors in the rainbow of stay- at -home moms, business women, homeschooling moms, faithful believers, single women, single moms, couples, and all in between. Occasionally, my friends and I share group meetings together when they meet each other, but most of the time it’s insightful one on one time spent together. I found that the most lasting and meaningful relationships are from those who love you, and not ” tolerate” you welcoming who you truly are with equal love in respect never making you the”odd mom” out.