Putting Pride Aside: Make It Right In Taking Ownership

It’s not a week as a parent and as a teacher that I don’t witness a disagreement between children. It humors me that even if the conflict comes to emotional tears or unfortunate blows that our youth can occasionally beat us to the punch in choosing peace over pride with apologizing in moving on. We have to push our pride to the side in thinking of the overall picture in acting in wisdom in dealing with conflict.We must allow our faith as believers to be the catalyst with our actions to take ownership in wrongs and misunderstandings. If we find ourselves at fault with anything that puts a strain on our relationships with others we are to make it right selflessly.

Ephesians 2:8

For by grace you have been saved through faith, And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Why Can’t We Just Apologize?

• Pride
• Ego
• Stubbornness
• Embrassment
• Need to Be In Control
• Social Pressure

Its amazing that little children can have a drag out fight on the playground, and the children can later be back friends playing like nothing ever happened. We as adults can stop talking to friends,family, neighbors, and co-workers for the most trivial disagreements or misunderstanding for years. A grievance has the possibility to go on for years,and we sometimes forget what we were actually mad about in the first place over time. A half passive aggressive apology in which we blame the other party for our actions in pointing the fingers as ” See what you made me do” in manipulating our words in not taking full ownership on our part may cause more harm in damaging a relationship with others. We also run to our “yes friends” or enabler buddies that we know don’t have the heart to tell us we’re to neglect apologizing.

Examples

• ” I am sorry if you were offended by _____________.
• “I know I did __________, but you did” __________ which made me act the way I did.
• “I AM SORRY ! FINE, Are you happy now?”
• “I was just __________ you know.”
• “I will apologize if you ____________”.
• “__________ told me to come to you and apologize, so here I am.”
• “I am going to be the bigger person and come to you”

I think the worst personally for me, is when someone has obviously offended someone or acted hurtful, yet they later decide to opt out of an apology with just ignoring the issue at hand attempting to gloss back into someone’s life.

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Bigger Than Being Right

We live in a cancel culture that is quick to cut others off in being dismissive that has leaped into how we handle our interpersonal personal relationships. There are so many worldly influences in memes, false messengers, and pop culture references that insist that we cut everyone off in not wasting energy to nurture our relationships during conflicts. I too was guilty of the cut off spirit in not knowing how to effectively handle conflicts before growing in my relationship with Christ. I tend now to delicately reevaluate a connection before I make a decision to create distance from someone. I maintain healthier relationships with others after prayerfully examining the offensive, or how many times an offense has happened to determine if maintaining the relationship would be more detrimental than positive. I know that regardless if I maintain a relationship or not following an offense I must forgive.

Most of us have had a moment where we acted from emotion, hurt, bias or hang ups that created a conflict. If that conflict nudges at our spirit deep down within our consciousness we have to take ownership in apologizing. I’ve completely had to put my tail between my legs in reaching out in acknowledging that I did something wrong in some very embarrassing moments. I’m not too proud to apologize to someone in valuing the relationship in choosing peace over pride. It’s easier to admit that we were wronged than admitting that WE ARE WRONG. Thankfully, though in referencing Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me” we can also apply that in putting our pride to the side and admitting our faults in making peace with others. We can create a life of harmony rather than drama and conflict in our lives. If there is someone that deep down you really care about or a relationship that will need to be at best cordial with for a bigger picture, I would like to encourage you to prayerfully make it right. Ask Christ for guidance on how to reach out to this particular person in offering a sincere apology for your part.

Acts 17: 30

The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent.