Journeys In Motherhood

Knowing What Really Matters

There’s much sadness and uncertainty with COVID-19 sweeping through our cities disrupting our norms of every day life. The one thing that has kept me grounded through it all is keeping what matters to me the most at my center focus of growing my faith, strengthening our family, and adopting a deeper level of gratitude for things I often took for granted.

My sweet daughter Paris likes to blow bubbles while outside.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1 : 2-4

I write this blog while having a moment of stillness in watching my four children play with one another in our backyard. Children have an innocence that even in the midst of tragedy they can find moments to express the beauty of a smile, show creativity with a broken stick to make up a game of some sorts, dance without a care if anyone watching, and have a faith in us as their parents that no matter what’s going on within the world that we will make it okay. The scripture says that’s we are to be as faithful as children in serving our Heavenly Father in trusting him with our faith.

Sharing a Sunday evening picnic with my daughters.

The future is completely unclear when this world wide pandemic will end. The sadness of the lives lost touches me to my very being. The economy is suffering both locally and nationally for us all in having so many businesses forced to close down. Unemployment is now at an untold high. There’s still no clear comfort from any of the experts on how to stop the virus from transferring from person to person despite how much we act in social distancing, clean to disinfect ferociously, and wear our protective gear as we leave our homes to venture out to the grocery to store to load up on essential items. Things are completely out of our control which has most of us freaking out the most. I take a deep breath in letting go my desperation of having control of the unknown in releasing my anxiety knowing that although I am not in control I know that the God I serve is.

My son keeping me in shape with teaching his football drills.

The children and I have shared more time together with being home from work and school. We use this time not to mope around about what we don’t have, in counting the places we can’t normally go, but we use this time to share precious moments together. I watch the news seeing the many parents who lost their lives in cold hospitals that weren’t afforded the moment to tuck their kids in bed in saying goodnight. I take a little more time in watching my son show me his football drills. I read an extra book to my seven year old twins. My eldest daughter and I have used this time to share preparing the meals together for the family. I video chat my mom living in Atlanta whose fighting cancer to tell her I love her, hear the warmth of her voice, and to make her laugh with stories about the kids. I communicate with my brothers in letting them know I am here for them despite being in distance we’re apart. I enjoy the group chat with my mom and aunts playing with silly filters.

Night video chat with mom and aunts playing with filters. My mom is the too the far bottom left. Her sisters my aunts are to the right.

I’ve learned a deeper level of gratitude in going through the COVID-19 pandemic about life. I am grateful for my imperfect family in seeing how despite our shift in our dynamics we remain close. I’m grateful for our home in having a safe place of shelter in coping through this thing together in remembering the homeless people I pass often living lower east of downtown who have nowhere to go in the ” Stay Inside Order”. I am grateful for the simplest amenities, household items, everyday food items that are hidden were usually hidden in the back of the cabinet, and products like toilet paper that before this didn’t seem as important. More importantly I am grateful for my health and that of my children as we get through a pandemic together as one. I comfort my children with the wise words of my Grandfather who faithfully studied his bible in sharing to me as his granddaughter when times seemed uncertain, ” This too, shall pass.”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding ; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3 : 5-6