Relax Mom: The Premission To Unwind

I would like to say that I’m a pretty chill mom, but I’ve had those moments where I struggled to unwind from the day. My mind seemed to race to the next household tasks at hand, tackling homework, figuring out dinner, what was left from work to complete with assignments, attempting to navigate missed calls, and being engaged with the kids. I found myself going from zero to one hundred when it came down to trying to unwind in being totally wired, or I would clock out to take a nap, yet I still found myself restless. I recently tried some new techniques that really seemed to release some of the anxiety from the day to just unwind in giving myself permission to relax from what all transpired from the day.

It’s like as women and mothers many of us have trained ourselves to be always on call, alert, and ready to report to duty. We can glorify being busy as a badge of honor, a facade of caring devotion through martyrdom, and as a sense of validation in not giving ourselves the permission to rest. We have to give ourselves the permission to relax, unwind, clear our thoughts, and dare I say it moments of stillness to do absolutely nothing without guilt. It doesn’t have to be a long time frame of idleness. The longer we wait in holding off the laundry the bigger the pile grows, but we have permission to catch our breaths in gathering our thoughts before knocking down a few baskets of laundry.

I am a naturally wired person. I have been a busy bee since childhood. I found that once I entered the workforce, became a mother, and our family expanded it became more difficult for me to just just relax.in not doing anything at any given. I’ve let self care slide at times as l with juggled life as a mom. I may not get to treat myself everyday,yet l have grown to do much better in self care recently. I’ve now adopted in giving myself permission to relax.

Here are a few things that I’ve learned in giving myself permission to relax:

• I discovered breathing meditation: Breathing meditation makes you focus your energy in the concentration of your breath. I prefer to do breathing exercises in the morning or at the close of the day before bed. There are a few helpful videos online that you may use on YouTube on breathing exercises. I sometimes sneak in a breathing exercise at work on my planning when it’s been a stressful day.
• Unplug: Unplugging was a major game changer for me. I felt like I had to answer every call, text, and check every notification that came in on my cellphone. I felt guilty if I had a needy connection in being always ready to reply to them to not create any unnecessary tension in the relationship. It was exhausting! I have a certain time of the day that I unplug from everything and everyone for a few hours to regroup from giving out so much energy.
• Exercise : Exercising has so many benefits beyond getting tone in being in shape. Exercising is a great stress reliever in burning more than calories. Exercise burns the tension from the day. I’ve introduced yoga in my workout exercises which helps keep me centered and chill. I throw in a little Zumba, Afrobeats, and Hip Hop dance for fun.
• Wine to Unwind From The Day : I attended a wine tasting that was very thorough in sharing the benefits of drinking a glass of red wine. I struggled at first with purchasing my first bottle of red wine for personal reasons. I later spoke with my doctor who shared how a glass at the end of the day helps relieve tension, anxiety, and that red wine has heart benefits.
• Spend Time In Nature There are so many scientific studies that prove that being in the beauty of scenic natural environments are relaxing for the mind and body. I live near the beautiful Savannah River area. I always feel better after a stroll on the river. Recently my daughters and I had a dinner picnic outside following work and school in the backyard which helped us all relax from the day.
• Watch A Good Movie Flick : I don’t get to watch t.v. often. I feel like a couch potato if I sit down in front of the flat screen too long. However, it’s relaxing to kick back occasionally on my comfy sofa in having my snacks on deck to watch a good movie at home or catch up on a good series. I like to go to the movies alone or along with the kids to relax from a long week on the weekends.
• Cancel Plans: I hate being flaky, but occasionally I will cancel time consuming mundane obligations that I know will wear me out later in not being worth the bother. I have to fight my inner people pleaser who spreads herself too thin in not wanting to disappoint others if I say I can’t do anything. I find myself overwhelmed with my anxiety on the go when I spread myself too thin. I appreciate the times l am on my own clock.
• Have A Good Time With Good Vibes: There are so many benefits in spending time with people who bring light, laughter, and love in your life. I find it relaxing catching up with a friend for a Saturday lunch date, a good phone conversation, or a brief outing. It’s a relaxing energy boost to have some positive adult interaction as a busy mom as a healthy deflection from the normal routine.