I can confidently attest that my eldest daughter is a quiet, low-key, and laid-back individual. When considering her natural reserved nature in conjunction with the typical traits of Gen Z teenagers, it becomes apparent that she often immerses herself in her own world, allowing me to intervene when necessary before she resumes listening to music with her headphones. I make a conscious effort to recognize when she pauses to express vulnerability regarding various aspects of her life. Recently, after picking her up from school, she chose to share with me some interpersonal conflicts she was experiencing at school involving a group of friends and a shift in dynamics, as well as how this particular friendship was affecting her. It is essential for us to take the time to discuss the significance of friendships with our teenagers, emphasizing the importance of recognizing, cultivating, and maintaining healthy relationships.
The Tea!
My daughter spilled the tea to me that in her squad, there was this one friend who loved to single her out and be super mean-spirited, and of course, the other girls in the group were influenced by her drama, making my daughter feel like a total outcast. She shared that it wasn’t just a one-time thing with this particular friend, and that she often felt pressured to take on her friend’s mood swings, feelings, and flaky behavior towards others. Oh, the high school drama, am I right?
Inform Your Teen on How to Recognize Toxic Friendships
I’m a firm believer in offering others a second chance or the benefit of the doubt, I however wanted to know that when there is a pattern of mistreatment among someone that is not healthy, I also wanted her to recognize the signs of a toxic or unhealthy friendship. I wanted my daughter to know that even the most wonderful friendships can face challenging times, but I also wanted her to understand that there’s a profound difference between navigating an occasional disagreement with a friend and being in a toxic friendship marked by ongoing tension and hostility. It’s essential for parents to share the signs of a toxic friendship with our teens because the long term effects can be detrimental mentally and socially isolating.
A toxic friendship can have a detrimental impact on our children at various ages. It is essential to discuss indicators such as disrespect for boundaries, jealousy, manipulation, constant negativity, and lack of empathy with your daughter. These indicators can signify that a friend is not providing support and is instead undermining her confidence or exploiting her.
The following are unhealthy friendship indicators to have a ” Pow Wow” with your child or teen regarding toxic friendships.Warning signs that parents should look into and discuss regarding toxic friendships with their child/teen are include the following.
- Disrespecting boundaries
- Jealousy and envy
- Lack of empathy and support
- Heavy peer pressure
- Manipulation and control
- Constant negativity and criticism
- Frequent conflicts and drama
- Unreliability
- Lack of respect, taking advantage,
- Shifts in behavior and mood, and emotional drain.
- Shaming and talking down as a form of bullying especially in front of others.
I believe after our talk that my daughter made the right decision regarding how to move forward with that particular “friendship”. Our conversation also made me aware of the importance of my daughter seeing me model healthy friendships with my own friends that I’m blessed to have for her to see. It’s essential to me as mom for my kids, but especially my three daughters to see me cultivate and maintain positive rewarding friendships. I am grateful that my daughter came to me with this topic, and I will wait patiently for her to come again in allowing me insight into her world. Be blessed Beautiful people!
Purpose Filled Mommy with Minimarie 