It’s important for us to recognize our role as mothers in authority, protection, care, and freedom to know that there are some things we should never feel guilty about. It’s essential for us to humbly in assertiveness own our unique motherhood journey in releasing unwarranted guilt meant to cause shame, judgement, comparisons, and pressures of unrealistic expectations.
I’ve gathered from my personal experience and parenting style 12 things that moms should never feel guilty about in enjoying, honoring, and loving their motherhood journey.
- The Way We Nurture Our Child(ren) : There are those of us who are warm and fuzzy nurturing moms, stern nurturing moms, and moms who nurture in between. All are good moms who love their child(ren) fiercely.
- Protecting Our Child(ren) : Next to nurturing our children it’s our responsibility as moms to protect our children. We have the rightful duty to protect our children from hurt, harm , danger, and negative influences.
- Advocating For Our Child(ren): I speak on this prospective as an autism mom of my twin daughter, a special needs parent with two children with specific learning needs, and a mom of a teenage son of color that we should never feel guilty for advocating for our children . We are to advocate for our children earnestly if we detect mistreatment, biasness, discrimination , and injustice.
- Our Home Management Style : Our families are as diverse as our homes. We have the power to set the tone of our home in how we choose to manage to the best of our abilities routines, budgeting, household duties, roles, and our home’s up keep.We don’t have to live up to the home management styles of our moms, mother-in-laws, or some stranger online.
- Our Families Nutrition Guidelines & Likes : Some of us are meat and potatoes families, some of us are vegans, and some of us have special diet restrictions for our families. I think when it comes down to our kids they only care whether the food tastes good to them. We don’t have to feel guilty for preparing meals for our families that are good for them, keeps them healthy, and that our children actually like to enjoy.
- Making the Decision To Breast or Formula Feed : I will admit that I have both breastfed, and formula fed my children. I formula fed my son, and I later breastfed my three daughters. We shouldn’t guilt a mom in making her feel ashamed either way it goes. You’re not a bad mom in whatever choice you decide in feeding your babies. Heck, you were the one who cared your child!
- Our Personal Style : The mom that’s pushing her child in the swing on the playground in full face makeup shouldn’t feel ostracized or mocked no differently than the mom who wears her comfy sweats to the family holiday dinner. They are both beautiful moms owning their personal style. I’m currently writing this article while wearing my ” mama house dress” with a bonnet on.
- For Taking Time To Rest: It can be exhausting at times with juggling home life, raising little people ( mini big people aka our teens), and add that on top of our other responsibilities. It’s okay to take a minute to regroup, reflect, and to rest. The laundry is an ongoing task; don’t put on so much pressure if you have to split a wash, fold, and put away laundry day. It’s fine to take a short nap, and you have permission to take a few extra minutes to gather yourself in catching your breath before you officially start the day.
- Setting Boundaries and Saying ” NO” : Listen up all people pleasers and peacemakers, it’s okay to say “No”. The two letter word ” No” is a complete sentence that doesn’t require a long explanation. Your children will still love you no matter how much they pout if you set boundaries and say the word ” No” to them . We also don’t have to obligate ourselves within our budget, time, and interest to anything or anyone outside our home in setting firm boundaries for our families.
- Making the Decision to Work or Stay At Home : I entered my motherhood journey as a working mom completing my B.A. , and I stayed at home for a few years with my twin daughters. I am currently a full time fine arts teacher. I don’t regret any decision that I made in each stage of my motherhood journey in choosing to work or stay at home. Working Moms and SAHM have big roles to fill in juggling many responsibilities. I feel that both motherhood roles should be respected, celebrated, and saluted.
- For Treating Herself: Fellow moms treat yourself in embracing a little self-love, compassion, and grace. It’s good to treat yourself with a little something just for you to make yourself feel good. Treat yourself to a nice bath, home spa day, the cute outfit that you’ve been eyeing , and something that your tastebuds will thank you for.
- Being Selective of the Company You Entertain : We only have so much time for ourselves in a day for which we should allow that precious time to be shared with healthy relationships, good friendships, and people who bring us positive vibes. I’m a strong believer in recognizing life givers and life drainers in our lives with company and environments. It’s our right to be selective of the friendships we establish and maintain. We also have to respect ourselves and protect ourselves from those who cause high stress, hostility, and bring dysfunction through distance.
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