The “perfect mother have you seen her? Have you met her? I use to search for her desperately inside of me until I let go of the notion in owing my personal motherhood journey. I let go of the idea of being the perfect mom. I dropped the notion of feeling like the bad mom if I didn’t have a home that was spotless, cooked a full course meals with plate designs as if I was on Iron Chef America, speak in a constantly cheerful voice at all times, and if I’m not working I’m in sweats. I usually have some mystery stain from something my twins touched me with. Eww right! There are to many of us as moms who waste our energy in digesting the outrageous standards of society, trying to accomplish unrealistic expectations, and making comparisons with other moms that we choose to focus on in feeling inadequate.
The Sisters Who Have To Go!
There are two moms that we frantically dramatize in either wanting to be or dreading the notion of resemblance in any factor. We somehow see the “Perfect Mom” on a pedestal of aligning ourselves as the be all of standards on motherhood of achievements, or we tap into the superior side of our egos in not wanting to be what others think of as the lazy “Bad Mom” who’s face pops ups in news reports. Better yet, the “Sorry Mom” or the moms we feel sorry for who seems to enter in the mom group conversations of her life being a dramatic soap opera, she’s always stressed out, her kids never have on matching socks, she’s forever late for carpool, and who simply can’t find away to buy organic snacks! Let’s say it together ladies. These sisters along with their standards and deeds have to go from our mindsets!
Taking It Day By Day
I take it day by day with my motherhood journey. I don’t strive to be the perfect mom because I don’t put the pressure on my offspring to be the perfect kids. I wouldn’t accept the Mommy of The Year award if there was ever to be one, but my children are lovingly appreciative of the efforts I share in my love in caring for them ( Well, most of the time). My home can go from decently clean to a train wreck with the kids in a few hours with the kids just being themselves in entertaining one another. I choose not have my kids walk on eggshells in keeping everything spick and span. I rarely watch YouTube cleaning videos for inspiration of moms cleaning already clean homes ( Did you get the joke there? ) because I am to busy cleaning my own space in trying to figure out what goes where. We have a vegetarian night occasionally, but I will throwdown at any given moment a Southern lowcountry dinner in full blown regalia! I’m don’t met regularly with a group of moms that I see frequently, but I do have a fiercely supportive tribe of mothers to be myself around with no judgments. Our family isn’t your traditional nuclear family because I tabooly co-parent in two directions in having a blended home. I have moments of achievement as a mom and other times I am fighting feeling like a failure. I’m simply a mom doing my best in taking the roller coaster of parenting day by day.
If you throw in a combination of old school parenting, smothered with bible teachings, from a thirty something hip hop lover, who’s artsy free spirited, but a protective lianoness to her kiddos then you’ll have me as a mom. I am far from both spectrums of being the perfect mom or what some what will say the sorry bad mom, but I’m a darn good mother to my four children.
Stop being so hard on yourself as a mom, and take your own unique parenting journey day by day. Oh, by the way tell another mom you see doing her best, but she’s being way to hard on herself that she’s a good mother to in giving her some encouragement.