The 40’s Hit Differently

I firmly believe that with each milestone in life, we accumulate invaluable wisdom through life experiences, lessons learned, and profound gratitude for the precious gift of life, ultimately cultivating a refreshed mindset. I was forewarned that 40 would be a game-changer, and now, as I walk  in my early 40s, I proudly proclaim that I’m in a different headspace that’s more distinctive in years past and I’m embracing this transformative realization unapologetically.

As I celebrate my children’s milestones, including my son and nephew’s high school graduations, my eldest daughter’s sophomore year, and my twins’ midway point in middle school, I’m embracing the freedom and flexibility that comes with this new chapter. Having navigated the challenges of single parenthood and found love again in being remarried, I  prioritize meaningful connections and experiences that bring joy and fulfillment. Reflecting on the lessons learned along the way, I’m excited to harness this wisdom to create a vibrant, purpose-driven life in my future senior years, filled with love, laughter, and adventure. So, yeah truthfully the 40’s hit a little differently. You’re still young, but you’re at a mature stage in your personal journey in embracing life in a season of hope, priority, and more focus.

Here are my 5 takeaways affirmations from my 40’s personally that are distinct than in my years before.

• I Advocate for Myself : I’m non-confrontational, but let’s be real, sometimes you gotta grow a backbone and speak up for yourself, set some boundaries, and call out bad behavior that’s hurting you and those you love. It’s also important to share your needs, because people aren’t mind readers.
• I’m Not Easily Intimidated, Impressed, or Influenced by Others:As I’ve matured, I discovered the value of looking beyond superficial qualities and instead focus on the character, kindness, and authenticity that foster profound real connections. I’ve come to realize that a person’s true worth isn’t measured by their title or position, but by their genuine passion, sincerity, and compassion towards others – the very qualities that inspire me to cultivate meaningful relationships and hold others in high esteem.
• I Don’t Need Anyone’s Permission: I look back at various scenarios in my past, like, “Why are you giving your power away?” In thinking about even the simplest moments in life, I realize I really didn’t need anyone’s permission to do what was best for me. We don’t need permission to rest, take time for our family’s needs, to grow and want to do better for ourselves. We don’t have to ask for permission to tap into our creative genius in our personal lives in seeking approval. We also can take a stand owning our power without having the need to ask for permission in setting boundaries in protecting ourselves and even that of our family’s overall well-being.
• I Embrace All Aspects of My Personality Unapologetically: I am at ease with myself and my own identity. I fully embrace my spiritual, intellectual, humorous, playful, witty, and sensitive aspects. Yup, I’m someone who’s not ashamed of my tears, but I am someone that’s a pretty tough cookie that has handled the weight of the world at times without anyone knowing without breaking a sweat. I am both strong and vulnerable. Furthermore, I am unapologetic about my past, recognizing that the lessons learned have contributed significantly to my personal growth and development for the woman I am today. I acknowledge and accept every facet of my personality and persona, eschewing the need to conform to compromise my individuality for the sake of others’ comfort.
• I Cultivate What Matters the Most: I prioritize cultivating what truly matters in my life, focusing on family, friendships, personal growth, and healthy living. I nurture meaningful relationships, pursue hobbies, and tend to my well-being. I personally strive in living purpose filled with cultivating gratitude daily, sincerity in what I do and maintain, and reciprocity of value in all aspects of my life.

Bonus: I Don’t Deal With Nothing I Don’t Have to Truly Deal With: As a reformed individual who formerly struggled with people-pleasing, fixing, and asserting boundaries, I can acknowledge that I previously overcommitted myself. My production-driven approach and reluctance to disappoint others led me to assume a disproportionate share of responsibilities in various contexts, thereby avoiding conflict. I have learned to walk away from connections that were more detrimental than healthy in not tolerating toxic and unstable relationships regardless if it’s friends or family.  I can say in having cultivated self-love, self-respect, and self-care through maturity I prioritize my space, time, and energy in no longer engage in unnecessary obligations, and  dead end connections with that offer no respect or love. This concept has thus alleviated undue stress and emotional distress.