Being Authentic, Embracing Joy, Spiritual Growth and Understanding

The Gift Of Goodbye

The journey of life will bring about many connections in relationships. There will be some relationships that will last a lifetime, but there will be other relationships in which God will deem that have ran their course. The “gift of goodbye” allows you to take in each encounter as a blessing or lesson from God in knowing that each person was aligned within our purpose even if their season with us ends. We can go through emotions of hurt, confusion, disappointment, and resentment when some family and friends are removed from our lives. Trust in God ever faithfully when he begins to make “withdraws”in our lives by removing people knowing that it’s all apart of His plan.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6

God removes people through the gift of goodbye in four ways:

  1. He removes others after seeing we are becoming more codependent in that relationship instead of trusting fully in relying on Him. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that you have people to confide in, support you when needed, and who are reliable resources in times of need, but God comes before any earthly connection in being our guiding “Source” overall as our supplier. We can become to comfortable in running to our nearest friend for a chit chat over our problems before going into prayer to God. We can become to reliable on asking others to do major “favors” for us or expecting through a sense of entitlement for them to come to our aid in times of need before laying it before God our desperate cares of concerns. My grandparents were always my go to for wisdom, comfort, and if I ever needed help with anything. My grandfather’s passing allowed me to see the blessing of “earthly angels” , but knowing that only God is everlasting in His presence. We can’t become so distracted or comfortable in relaying solely on others that we neglect the fact that God is to receive full glory in our lives.
  2. God will remove others in our lives if he deems it that we are taking them for granted. God will protect his children. He watches over us in a loving embrace of protection through the covering of His blood which goes for us as well as for others. If God feels that we are more of a detriment, hindrance, or a harm towards a fellow believer He was cause that relationship to end to show us the importance of never taking anyone for granted in protecting them. He is a God of love. We can become to comfortable almost in a sense of arrogance in protecting our precious egos believing that all relationships that end in our lives have to do with the other party having the “issue” or bad habits. That is far from the truth! There are times were we actually were the ones lead by our on toxic habits that contributed to God removing someone out of our lives. There were relationships and opportunities in the past in which I lacked spiritual, mental, and emotional maturity to receive them properly. I lost a really good friend when I moved back to my hometown a few years back following my divorce. She was kind, giving, supportive, and had patience. My brokenness of trust issues from the heartache from my divorce really impacted that relationship. When we see each other we’re both cordial, but it’s not the same as before. In those moments it’s for us to take full ownership, repent, if we can ask forgiveness to that loved one ( for which I did with that friend and thankfully it was received), pray for God to remove what’s in us that is hindering our growth, and trust in God’s lesson within the process.
  3. God removes “bad company” and those who are toxic in our lives. God will either remove those who are toxic in our lives directly from giving us the courage to remove ourselves, or God will align through destiny for those people to indirectly be removed from our lives. Some may think having God remove someone who caused hurt, shame, or pain will be an instant relief. Again, that is far from the truth. Depending on how emotionally damaging the relationship was it may take awhile to heal from. We often think that those who contribute to damaging toxic bonds in our lives are obvious in appearance. Bad company or toxic people aren’t carrying a pitchfork or wearing a T-shirt that states” I’m Bad For You!” They can appear at first friendly, giving, loving, caring, and maybe possess biblical knowledge. However, their words and true actions don’t reflect how they really are towards you. They can be a family member,significant other, friend,co-worker, or even church members, but their toxic habits aren’t good for you for which God will not allow. He will remove those people one way or another. My girlfriend shared with me her experience of bullying from a group of women from her church that were former friends. They were all women of leadership in the church that as she described had double personalities of gossip, shaming, and judgement towards others. They would often meet for outings to discuss the ongoings of the private lives of the members in a negative light. The contradiction pained her because that spirit was throughout that particular ministry. She later left the church, and found another church to attend. Those same women begin to cyber bully, shame, and gossip about her. I can recall being grateful to God for removing someone who I thought was a friend out of my life. The relationship at first started off good but later it felt controlling, manipulative, combative, demanding, and laced in a sense of martyrship. It was an emotional roller coaster. Following another one of their fits of emotional rage, dramatic setup in pretending to be the “victim” and emotional blackmail this person actually removed themselves. I was grateful to God because it was a relationship that I was in constant prayer about not feeling right for me. It may sting a little after God removes someone toxic from our lives or “bad company” from hurt, but this is one of the greatest releases you’ll have in life. God will remove toxic people so that we won’t forget who we are in Christ.
  4. God removes those who have served their purpose in our lives and their season in our lives has come to in end. Every ending in our lives won’t be laced with the closure tension, hard feelings, or be reminiscent in heartbreak. Some people enter our lives on a good note and they leave on a good note as well. God sent those people in our lives for a distinctive plan for our purpose. I truly believe you will be able to tell that as you grow closer to God in knowing there was just something extra special about them. You reflect on fond memories when they come to mind. It’s a sweet and sour release in a goodbye. The good in the impression they left on your life outweighs the departure. I can remember a tough period in the beginning my blog. My two longest friendships were kind of at a distance in connection as everyone’s life were in major transitions. I hate to admit it, but during that time I really needed a friend. I met a wonderful mom for which we instantly connected, our families connected, and she was super encouraging in support for what I was doing at the time. I saw as our lives shifted in direction, so did our friendship seem take a shift as well . Gone were the days of everyday chats, playdates, and dinners of fellowships. I would reach out to connect, and share parts of my life, but she wasn’t the same. If I reached out she would politely reply, but overtime I could see it was more one sided in me reaching out to invite her apart of my life than she allowing me to be apart of her’s. By no means, do I feel that there was or will ever be any bad blood with this friend. I will forever call her a friend because I saw in ever way she was to me. I know that if I ever wanted to connect it would be nothing but love. The distance that grew in our friendship’s shift at first threw me off in asking the question, “What did I do wrong?” However, in seeing her support in other ways it lets me know that she will always be apart of my life in some way. We shouldn’t force anything in life in trusting in God, and that goes with relationships. What’s meant to be will always be, and what has ran it’s course in season we should respect in being apart of God’s plan. In forcing connections that God has removed we may cause unnecessary damage that can maybe irreversible in doing more harm than good.

There’s a gift in goodbye in God’s removal process. We just have to trust the orchestrator within the process of removal knowing that it all serves a purpose for our lives.

1 thought on “The Gift Of Goodbye”

  1. Wow! Are you trying to tell me something…perhaps that you are leaving us 😂 This is great! I can identify with what you are sharing with us. It answers many questions we have about people who just seem to disappear from our lives without an explanation. Thank you!

    Like

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