Friendship, Spiritual Growth and Understanding, The Little Things That Count

Know Your People

I will never forget the feeling after my fellow cast members and I finished our bows concluding a local play production to leave the stage to greet our guests in attendance. I was delighted to see my family in the house, and I was blissfully surprised to see three friends awaiting to give me a hug that attended. I’m in my late thirties which has afforded me the opportunity to meet many people in life learning  the value of relationships, connections, and attachments. I’ve had friendships that have endured decades, friendships that that were less than a decade that feel as close as if we went to high school together, people that when we connect there’s just a down home feeling of  family, wise elders who act as mentors, close confidants, and supporters in my life that never wavier . I’ve grown in understanding and appreciation of interpersonal relationships to know my people in my life in the significant roles each bring to my journey.

As iron sharpens iron,  so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 

They Are Coming 

I’ll post if I have an upcoming engagement on my social media platforms along with sending out personal invites. I’m active with fine arts, community events,  and  various causes.  I don’t ask for my friends to attend everything I’m participating in at the time. It’s not a requirement to be apart of my life, but it does make a friendship grow deeper in knowing that you have people in your life who willingly support you. My three friends who attended the play have personalities that are like night and day. I doubt if they even sat together with the exception of two friends who knew each other prior with us growing together as a group of three.  My friend who lived out of town never met my childhood friend , or my girlfriend from college. Their lives are equally diverse with family, work, and schedules. I sent the invite in not getting my hopes up in being disappointed if they didn’t make it in respect for their personal lives. I don’t know how they  managed to be standing together when I looked over the crowd after greeting my family, but they were there to support me which met the world. The common unity at the time despite their differences was their friendship towards me. I saw in a recent virtual conference where I was presenting two out of those three friends faces on the computer screen. I will again never pressure my friends to attend all my engagements, but I felt love in knowing that if my closest friends can join me in support they are coming.

tribe 3

  No Guilt, No Shame, No Throwbacks  

Recently, a girlfriend of mines was sent to the hospital for an extended stay. She lived over an hour out of town. We hadn’t spoken directly in over a year, but I got word from a mutual friend that she was at a local hospital nearby.  I would take the drive out of town to visit her and her family. She  would make it known when she was in my town for a doctor’s appointment with her daughter to have lunch together.We met at the mall at an indoor playground chasing our little ones, striking up conversation, and later we exchanged numbers. We often sung praise and worship songs in each other presence, cracked jokes,  shared deeply through transparency our stories, and laughed until our cheeks hurt. We kept in touch, but as the years passed I heard less of my girlfriend.  I didn’t take it personally. I chopped it up to mom life and distance. It took two hospital visits  to find my friend’s room ( Being out of town she didn’t know the correct hospital names within our large medical district.)but I found her. The tears flowed from her eyes when we finally saw one another possibly  from being in the hospital so long away from her kids.  She brought up how she wished she could have been a better friend in staying in contact. I told her to not to worry about the gap in letting go of guilt to focus on getting better to get out the hospital. We would again crack jokes, sing praise and worship songs, pray together, and talk like time never lapsed by her bedside. I never once thought of her as a fake friend because of our time apart, threw in her face coming to visit her out of town, play martyr for visiting  her in hospital , or shamed her in being clearly at an emotional low point. Our lives are different as our race, but she will always be apart of my tribe with those I treasure.

tribe 2

You Never Have To Question 

I believe that our spirits connect with like minded souls who are willing to love, support, and treasure who we authentically are. You feel like in their presence a kindred tie that’s mutual. They just get you without you having to explain yourself. They know your quirks, character flaws that you need to work through, and weakness , but they never exploit your vulnerabilities. They may know your secrets; you may equally know their secrets, yet there is a common ground in respect for confidentiality to hold dear. They know your gifts in giving you motivation to move forward to cultivate your craft with support without no envy.  You both can walk in your unique truths  without superiority or judgments. You’re able with your people to pick up where you left off without awkwardness, uneasiness, and resentfulness despite how long it may have passed since you all have spoken. These are the people who correct us when we’re wrong without trying to break our spirits. We will encounter people in our lives for which we’re forever bonded in being apart of our tribe with love, seasonal, joined solely by common interests, came for benefit, one sided attachment for need, and some join us for the spur moment of entertainment. Know that each person good, bad, or in between served a purpose.  You never have to question the special role you bring in the lives of your people.

fine your tribe

 

 

 

 

 

 

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