I felt a mixed of emotions leading up to my first Mother’s Day as a single mom. I braced myself without holding on to any expectation leading up the holiday in knowing that it would be different. I pondered a few questions in my mind about single moms I’ve known, my own mother from growing up, and accepting my new norm in my family’s dynamics is asking “What do single moms do on Mother’s I wondered? ” It has been three years since, and at the time my children were younger not fully able to articulate how they felt about their love for their mom with fancy gifts, poetic social media post, and I wasn’t going to let them burn the house down to cook me breakfast in bed.
I reflected back on my own childhood in remembering how my brothers and I did the best we could from our little allowances from chores to honor our mom on her special day that she was appreciated. Our mother transitioned to being a single mother when she and our father separated, and she sadly became a widow shortly afterwards. We simply purchased small gifts that we thought she would love from the Dollars Tree, and we tried our best to get along without fussing for a few hours to give her some peace. I thought how ridiculous it would be in laughing out loud for me to give my kiddos each a large lump sum in cash to drive them to the mall to pick out a designer purse just to say it was a gift from them to me. Would I need an extravagant gift from my children on Mother’s Day for validation that they lovingly adore me as their mom?
Mother’s Day is different for all of us moms who choose to recognize the day regardless of our marital status similar to our unique motherhood journeys. I personally believe that it’s up to us as mothers to choose how we want to relish in reflections, honor, and recognition on Mother’s Day. I have young children that I wouldn’t imagine putting pressure on them to make my Mother’s Day a big to do. I don’t have any entitled expectations that could fester from resentment if I don’t receive a card, shout out, or gifts from their Dads. The gift of being a mother dispite it’s complexities won’t allow me to operate from a place of bitterness even though I’m now a single mom.
I don’t know how individually single moms celebrate their Mother’s Day, but I know how I will choose to honor my Mother’s Day. I choose to enjoy the day peacefully with my children in sharing our united love language of quality time in fellowship. I am grateful that they chose to put back their slime, snacks, headphones, and toys to buy me some bubble bath to give me a little something from the heart for Mother’s Day to lather up to enjoy. I’m also grateful that although it’s cute I am a picky eater that probably wouldn’t have eaten watery eggs if they tried to cook, plus I still want to keep the kitchen safe from flames. My Mother’s Day is special simply because if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have been a mom in the first place. This Mother’s Day won’t just be my day, but it will be our day to celebrate.