Being Authentic, Journeys In Motherhood, Self Care, Uncategorized

Tough Love : You Can’t Fake Self- Love & Confidence

There are somethings in life that you can’t fake it until you make it and confidence within truly loving yourself is one them. I truly feel that confident parents who have a true understanding of God’s calling for their lives and who are secure with themselves raise children who in turn are the same. I really want to live by example for my children to know it’s ok for them to loving embrace who they are, to be secure within themselves, and to be all that God has called for them to be. I knew I had to take a self inventory of how I was really living in a true portrayal of being a confident and secure woman with loving myself as a living the example for my children in not faking it until I made it. It took a big wake up call recently that showed me that I had to do better for all my children, but particularly for my daughters in being a truly confident woman of God.

I asked myself the following questions in reflection Sunday in taking off the mask of “faking it until I made it” with self-love, knowing my worth, and having confidence in leading by example for my children:

  • How much do I speak negatively about myself or others?
  • What are my thought patterns in how I feel about myself from the inside?
  • Does my actions center around love, purpose, enjoyment of life, or a constant need for public validation.
  • Am I more focus on people pleasing and conforming to fit the needs of others than that of God’s direction?
  • Are the relationships and friendships that I’ve established or maintained conducive for my spirit, growth, and well being in being compatible?
  • In what ways am I teaching people how to treat me with love, care, courtesy, and respect?
  • In what ways am I not being as assertive as I could be or living in fear of ?

Working Confidence

The past season with transitioning back to work from staying at home hasn’t been the easiest for me. Daily within the temperament of my working environment I’ve learned different things about myself that I’m good at and things I need to work on. When you work with a lot of women it can be a lot of emotions on any given day, and there have been times when my confidence of knowing who I am have been tested. My daugthers also join me where I work. It’s ever present when handling some situations with my co-workers and my daughters being so near how to abide in love with dealing with others( even in conflicts), express myself in the belief of my abilities in completing my responsibilities, and to be assertive on taking lead roles. Our children watch and pick up everything we do. My hopes are that my daughters will learn through my stuggles and achievements in this new season how to be secure within God’s purpose for their lives, confident within the gifts God has given them, and to keep their heads up high in knowing who they are through trials.

Friendly Stuggles

I think next to how we treat ourselves is how we allow others to treat us shows how much we truly love ourselves. I’ve always been pretty sociable, but I’ve struggled in my interpersonal relationships with friends at times. I’ve been open without much guard and later heartbreaking detriment and disappointment of friendships. I notice some major shifts within my interpersonal relationships that made me more aware of how I establish and maintain friendships. Most motherhood friendships involve not just two indivuals, but families. More than likely our children are invloved in some way within our friendships. Our children learn by our example of what is acceptable in selecting, in behavior traits, tolerance, and the beauty of maintaining within godly friendships from us. Although no one is perfect including us there are some major factors that we should consider before calling someone our “friend” especially if our children are involved. If you’re like I was in being very open to welcoming and accepting all in being apart of your life I would like to challenge you to take more consideration in how you apply self love in selecting godly friendships in choosing those who are compatible with your spirit in being equally yoked. Remember your children are watching through your example of self-love on how to establish and maintain friendships.

Again, there are some areas of our lives such as self-love and having confidence that we can’t fake it until we make it. It’s essential for us and the generations we leave behind in being authentic in loving embracing who we are and owning the confidence in all we can be.


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