Living With Anxiety : The Closeted Truth

People seem to be more open to understanding and acceptance when it comes down to illnesses that they can see in the physical form. There are those who live with a illness and a struggle hidden that the world can’t physically see or have stigmas associated with, so it’s hide in the closet out of fear of judgement. Many people live with anxiety daily. Living with anxiety impacts their lives physically, socially, and emotionally. There are women who cope with living with anxiety along with motherhood. 

I honestly grew up where those who were considered different or more sensitive were considered “crazy”, and they were made to look at as unstable with suspicion . I didn’t know what to identify with describing my daily struggles that started as a little girl. I saw following some major life changes, the  balancing of motherhood, and being the caregiver with so many depending on my strength to be strong in carrying a heavy load that living with anxiety had to be addressed in being successful with each mentioned. How could I break the secret of silence of my busily anxious mind of running thoughts? I am the naturally outgoing, friendly, bubbly, and assertive person that’s seen confident within her on skin with the ability to speak with ease.  Was I putting a façade of who I “really” was?  My children depend on me for comfort, and my husband looked at me to break the ice in social setting for him. “No, I better keep my secret of what’s going on inside”, I said to myself because I knew that they needed me for strength. How could I feel comfortable in speaking or singing in front of large crowds, yet I could feel my heart sink in attending an intimate bible study or new setting. I kept my secret to myself until I met so many amazing women and mothers through my personally ministry and support group Purpose Filled Mommy. They entrusted to tell me their truth; I felt compelled to share mine’s in a mutual connection of encouragement.

Can’t Explain This Feeling

     Panic attacks can be unpredictable and predictable at the same time for those who have anxiety.  There are times where some anxiety suffers  know when a panic attack is coming because they know that they are around a trigger. There are times as well where a panic attack may come out of the blue depending on the setting, and it can be a reponse from a trigger from a reminder of negative experience. Everyone who has anxiety does not have panic attacks, but many do. Some may have had them as a child which later changed in adulthood to nonexistent. There are those who have them several times as week or throughout the day. There are those with anxiety who have them very rare where the panic attack lies dormat inside for long spells at a time. They lay dormant until triggers at times of stress, life tragedy, or major event occurs. It’s all about knowing the triggers which can be particular thoughts, certain environments, and it can be some people that cause panic attacks. Panic attacks can be physically painful, and they can be debilitating. It’s very important not to handle having panic attacks alone, and don’t sweep them under the rug. Please consult your doctor, and see what treatment plans are available for your condition.

Different Strokes For Different Folks 

  There are several types of anxiety disorders which effects each person differently. Anxiety can come in many forms of personalities from the shy introvert to those who are outgoingly more closer in appearance to an extrovert.  There are those who’s anxiety rarely interferes with their professional and personal lives. There are others for with anxiety disorders heavily effects them where they struggle in every area of their lives in functioning. It doesn’t matter if one person is more high functioning than another because they all have their own unique challenges that each person has to deal with daily.

Mask Off
 I felt more comfortable in this year in sharing what I was battling inside at times with the care of my husband and some trusted friends. I am very outgoing, and I would consider myself to be pretty confident in what I do. I couldn’t explain at first how I could be comfortable speaking in front of large crowds, being the first one to dance boldly on the dance floor, friendly in having conversation with strangers in sharing mutually our life’s stories, yet I could feel my heart pounding in small intimate settings with strangers. I would avoid certain settings and people from a trigger of a negative feeling or fear of rejection. My words wouldn’t flow as I wanted at times with my palms sweating when meeting some acquaintances. The very shy little girl that didn’t say much other than at home out of fear, possible rejection, and insecurity would show in those moments. Later, with the understanding of social anxiety it made sense my actions and emotional response. It didn’t mean that I couldn’t walk within my purpose. It didn’t mean that I couldn’t be productive. My motherhood journey like anyone else is a day by day journey in growing with adventures that I adore in experiencing. Anxiety of any sort can have a major impact if not properly diagnosed and treated. The sooner you get help, follow your treatment plan, and understand your triggers it becomes better in coping. You can have the ability to maintain relationship successfully, and you can be productive at what you want to succeed in accomplishing.

    I learned the beauty in cultivating a healthy inner circle where I could speak openly my feelings. My spiritual growth evolved daily which helped me to be better of discernment when selecting certain settings that were safe for me to disclose with the purpose of  inspiration, support, and growing closer to God. My husband who is a professional and soon to be licensed counselor was of the best support. I also found other friends who were like me productive, loving, and caring women who shared the same daily battle with living with anxiety with the boldness to not allow it take over their lives. We give each other encouragement to step outside of the box of anxiety. We don’t exploit one another in our weaknesses. We give grace and understanding towards one another in our motherhood journey. We can be ourselves in taking off the masks.

Motherhood Anxiety

  I am not a licensed counselor. I speak more on living with anxiety through observation and experience from the subject matter. Personally, I feel although there maybe a history of other leading factors prior to a mother living with anxiety to have , I don’t rule out motherhood being a contributing factor by itself. The truth is that your life never becomes the same after becoming a mother. Many mothers like myself are the soul person or caregiver to spouses, children, and family members with disabilities and special needs. Moms in those equations have many added stressors. All mothers can attest that children are known without conscious to place parents in unpredictable and uncomfortable scenarios. The role of motherhood can seem urgently demanding at times. Mothers are seen to be the backbone, quick on their feet, the comforters, and mothers are to be the pillars of strength no matter how they feel. They are pulled from one direction to another balancing many roles and hats. There is no rest for the weary mother who works outside of the home or the stay at home mother for which their 24/ 7 job is the most dependable in being the glue.  I know of many mothers who are functioning within their daily lives as giving their all, yet they battle in the physical along with the emotional daily struggles in living with anxiety.

Mothers Living With Anxiety Should Care For Themselves With The Follow Protection For Their Mental Health  and Daily Function :     

  • Reach out to a licensed and professional therapist or counselor without fear.
  • Discuss their feelings with their doctor.
  • Follow their prescribed treatment plan.
  • Delgate household chores and responsibilities.
  • Adopt self-care as a lifestyle.
  • Listening to their bodies by resting or pacing themselves if they feel overwhelmed.
  • Communicate their needs.
  • Cultivate a healthy circle of trusted friends and confidants to share their feelings or to aid in support.
  • Be aware of your environments and company that they select to entertain.
  • Find a positive outlet of expression and release for  their feelings.
  • Add movement and exercise as a lifestyle choice.

 

Striving Despite Of

 

It possible for a person to live with anxiety in being high functioning, productive, and successful within their own right. There are many faces of people who live anxiety. I have friends who are shy and introverted living with anxiety. I also know many people like myself who are outgoing with living their life’s passion in breaking barriers within the labeled perception of what it means to live with anxiety. Many well known and respected celebrities have come forward with their mental health battles along with doing mind-blowing things, yet they face the same struggles of living with this illness.  I don’t let it limit me for walking within my purpose, being their for my family in my many roles, and it has not stopped me in giving my best as a mother. My husband and children love me for me. I surround myself carefully with those who accept me as  who I am flaws and all. It’s important to know your triggers and who your triggers are. You don’t have to live in fear, but you should avoid all that is toxic via environment or associates at all cost. My passion is to encourage and occasionally through some speaking efforts make others laugh through entertainment.  I am living proof of what you can do with living with anxiety. The more we talk about the significance of our mental health and break the stigmas of those living with mental health illness the more broader our prospective will be of giving hope.

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